My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
