ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
