Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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