i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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