She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
