Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
