i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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