You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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