Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It's shark week go big or go home
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
