why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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