she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
