Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
