WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
