I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
