East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
