could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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