I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
