It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
