omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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