before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
