try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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