It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
