sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
