Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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