I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
