That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
