i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My Higher Power is John Stamos
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize