I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
