its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
