allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
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I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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