how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
