Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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