im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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