Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
