There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize