perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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