After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
