Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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