The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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