i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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