Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
