Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I want to be your penis for a week.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
