i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
