i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
