you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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