it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
