I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Be still, my beating vagina.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
