Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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