I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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