Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
