I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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