I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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