U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
