he shaved USA in his pubs
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize