it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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