It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
