I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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