I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
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