HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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