sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
