Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
