There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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