I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
