everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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