oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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