Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
