I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
