Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
