If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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