i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"