Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
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I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
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I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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